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The Fire

Updated: Dec 1, 2020

Beautiful strolls through the woods can lead to a tragic end if you happen upon the crackling of an insatiable fire - the sound of the burning of lost souls somehow alluring as if it is a song being sung just for you.

The fire calls out to you, specifically you, promising you your wildest dreams. They're all right here! Right here - under the flames. Don't worry, it won't hurt you. At least that's what he tells you. He says he can change your life forever - for the better.

Oh yes, you thought this was just some wildfire? No no. A towering Ent, a living tree, walks through the forest on tentacle-like roots, a hole in its abdomen where an eternal fire burns - engulfing it - somehow he thrives as a charcoal husk.

He sings to you and beckons you closer with very long lithe branches for arms. An Ent full of anger and hatred that ignites him from the inside, but to keep that anger from eating him alive he feeds it with other people.

Sadistic in a way - that his spitefulness and anger are satiated by destroying people off their hopes and dreams... I wonder if he ever had any.

I have lost many friends to this beast.

Some excitedly ran into the forest screaming they would be rich.

A few were persuaded in by the promise of a new life, a fresh start.

Others entered secretly in the night, leaving letters on their nightstands reassuring us how their mistakes would be fixed in the morning, someone was going to help them right their wrongs.

I was promised something once, and it was so tempting...

It started off as a lovely song, then turned into a droning beat that suddenly ignited a hunger within me that couldn't be quelled. Imagine you just ran 14 miles, or spent an entire week at a theme park, and didn't get a chance to eat or drink anything for the ENTIRE WEEK. It's that hunger you get when you can't even keep your legs still because all you can think is "I'm so hungry! I feel crazy -!" And that is that strong desire I felt in the pit of my soul - screaming - for this song that was being sung to me of a very tempting offer.

He was promising that if I walked into the fire, he would grant my wish of becoming a boy - and what little boy created in the body of a girl WOULDN'T give anything to change the body that did not reflect them.

One night, the song was so strong, it didn't matter where I went - it must have sunk into my subconscious because even when I was nowhere NEAR the forest I could FEEL that temptation there. That as I was walking, I heel turned and just started running. It was like finally giving in and eating the chocolate cake on the counter - because God Damn I wanted it. I wanted it so badly. I ran into the woods and if anyone saw me - I wouldn't know because all I could hear was that music ringing in my ear. It beckoned me, and I was mad. But I couldn't care less.

I ran further and further and further into the woods, watching a light get brighter and brighter and brighter! It was the light at the end of the tunnel, singing to me that my nightmare of a life would be over, I could be a boy and be HAPPY.

I stopped as I felt the warmth of the fire in front of me, a few feet away from the inferno. I could see so many happy people dancing to the music that called to me, they were beckoning me to come in.

I reached out, barely thinking as I entered.

Immediately my hands and arms began shriveling up, the fabric that was my 'skin' burning away completely. I wang in the heat and getting thinner and thinner. I heard a man yelling and run into the fire with me, he ran past me and began digging in the dirt. He was screaming about becoming rich. I saw him begin to shrivel up and burn.

I lifted my hands to my face and they were so THIN, stick-like.

The pain began setting in and my rational thought was coming back to me - OH MY GOD I WAS DYING.

"SIR!" I yelled. I needed help. He needed help. "SIR! WE HAVE TO GO!"

But he kept digging relentlessly into the ground - into - it was ashes and dirt and bones he was digging into.

I screamed and attempted to get the man to come with me but he had an inhuman strength about him and he pushed me away to continue digging.

I stumbled backwards, until I fell on the ground, just outside of the flames.

My body in so - SO much pain - I'm a doll made of fabric and wood and dirt you see - it was a wonder that I hadn't been burnt to a stump yet.

I saw the man digging slower than before, and then slump over.

I noticed movement around the fire - like the fire was being - moved. It was moving. I followed the movement, seeing the fire was housed inside of a tree, I kept looking up, saw the face of an enraged Ent looking down at me and watched him lift a hand to try to pick up up.

Assuming I would be thrown back into the fire, I scrambled and limped away as fast as I could - hearing the sound of the Ent's roots lumbering after me. The song started again and it called like an old friend - but as soon as I turned to look back I saw the Ent from a distance singing to me. The illusion was broken, and I continued to exit the forest.

I can tell you why the illusion did not work for me, why it does not work for all. I had, for a long time, associated men with a more angular look. I had wanted to be very thin, a very lithe man - I wanted to be rid of my curves forever. That's what the Ent was giving me. I was getting my wish, but it was also the reality of myself burning alive as well. I was seeing myself burn alive as a positive - and when I realized I was dying - I realized life would be worth living no matter what shape I was made in than to die to an unhealthy state.

So this is me now, I am still healing from the flames, but I am kind to my body now. I realize how lucky it is that I survived the Fire's songs. Beware of the songs that call out to you deep in the forest, my friends. Do not give into the promises that are sung to you in the forest, as you do not know what the cost of their service is - if they are even being truthful about it at all.

Good night.

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