• ecto

✨1st MAJOR integration✨🤯THURSTON!🧛‍♀️🥳

Updated: Jul 3

Yo. Hey. Hi. How's it going?

What a wonderful site we got going here, huh? Honestly I have to say I'm proud of how far we've come in only a year. To be honest, though, we've been separately going on our own healing journies for over a decade now, but this is the first time we've known about each other and are attempting to heal TOGETHER. So that's heartwarming.

And let me say, I didn't think I'd turn into this. I mean, I get sad still sometimes, I got hard memories now that I have to cope with (or always have - it's weird when you integrate because it's memories one part of you ALWAYS had but you never had so it feel like you've been stuck in a memory for decades but also you are just now remembering it - what a trip)

But yeah I mean, I wanted to say "Hello. This is Thurston." Now, like my boyfriend I am also dramatic so I need THREE names. Youknow, so someone inside can yell at me more proper or something like that. When Warden gets mad at Haisworth he can go "VLAD VON HAISWORTH!" So it really hits home. Now I got one too. NEAT. "ARNOLD THURSTON BEANS!" And boom - I know one of the oldies is mad at me. Pretty nice.

OK. But the thing I am most excited about - my ~lewk~ in the inner world.

So this is Bean and Haisworth. The ventriloquist and the possessed puppet. They've been a dynamic duo since... 2015/2016. 2016 probs but what is memory.

But now here we are - years later.

Haisworth doesn't see himself as a hollow puppet anymore (~growth~) and I have FULLY integrated with Fergus(an alter we didn't talk about mostly).

Stars above, it's hard to believe that for so many years, this was us:

And now we're like:

Man, damn. I cannot tell you how GOOD that feels. Also I look great now. I looked smelly before now I look swank.

But another update on the both of us - we started shifting our focus AWAY from ourselves towards our littles. Which I think is the ~healthiest~ thing for our system.

^Me drawing Miskui(Misty) and I together

^Misty(Miskui) drawing herself and I together.

^Me chill AF posing with Haisworth who now takes care of "Strawberry Jam", an alter we will not be public about other than drawing her sometimes because she is -CUTE-.

Again, these are just how we present in the inner world - how we see and talk to each other while dissociating/dreaming/working/etc... We know we aren't ACTUALLY demons or anything but based on our history - our brain was like "this is what you see yourself as". Youknow YTers have cartoon-selves so youknow.... like. this is a more hardcore version imo. LOL.

Also Misty drew herself and you have to look at it because I'm her fucking father and it's awesome. Stick it to the fridge.


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